Patience

Well –

Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s lesson is about patience.  And wait, before you stop me to remind me that my word of the year is trust, not patience, let me explain.

At the turn of the year, each member of my art group selects a word for herself to use as a guide or a beacon through the coming months.  Choosing a word allows us to set some intention for the year by reminding us of what we value, and what we would like to emphasize in our lives as we move through our daily chores.

My word for the year is trust.  Trust is an important concept for me and a difficult one.  It means that I have to give up the control that I hold onto tightly.  I have to let go of control of situations, control of other people, control of information.  It means that I have to move out of “fix-it” mode and trust the process that is life.

Patience.

I’m having a conversation.  I have to leave in 35 minutes.  There is some information that I want to get before I go.  I sip my coffee and look out the window at the sunlight on the snow.   I am feeling impatient.  I just want to ask the questions and be done with it like filling out a form.

I say “Beautiful morning.”

I wait.

The conversation moves along at its own pace. Sometimes we are quiet.  Sometimes one of us says something.  I laugh.  Information is revealed slowly like the pulling back of a curtain. Instead of the one word answers I would get by drilling with questions, I get small stories.  I get a smile.  Instead of demanding, I get sharing.  Instead of resentment I gain some trust.

At the end of the conversation I am late to work but before I leave, I get a hug.

Trusting the process is about patience.  It’s about letting yourself be in the moment and allowing yourself to really feel what is happening.  It’s about trusting others enough to let them love you.  In some ways, it’s easy.  Relax, stop worrying and enjoy the ride.  In other ways, it’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.  Relax, stop worrying and enjoy the ride.

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