Tag Archives: breathe

Cleaning the Attic

frost-patterns-on-windows-1387971944JG1Again – this is a poem in transition – I started it a few weeks ago on a very cold day. Today it is cold again and I revisited it, working on the warm part of the poem. I am still not happy with the ending or the title but here it is – in process….. Every third year Or When the snow flies off the trees Like white crows Disturbed by wind or intruders bursting up and out; When the doorknob frosts on the inside And bath steam Clings to the window freezing into Tiny rivers meandering always up, Tributaries of ice sparkling like giant snowflakes Caught in the ice age of the storm, In the dark days of winter when shadows Are long at noon, In the blue moon of January I dream of myself as a young woman Walking through damp moss In bare feet. A thicket lit with crepuscular rays; spotlights on fairy rings. The enchanted forest breathes warm soft exhalations Mixing with the must of old paper And India ink. Letters crack at fold lines Splitting the sentences declaring unending love Every day a picnic on the mountain With sardines and red wine Hard cheese on crusty bread cut with pocket knives. The sun burns our skin Frosty paintings melt Running down the glass in drops That sizzle on the wood stove The fire bright and hot Cats sleeping at our feet.

A Quiet Evening

I love normal evenings.  Last night art group (BPAG) was cancelled due to sickness and although I almost always love seeing my art friends, it felt good to just be home.  It was cold and showery so I got the pellet stove going, heated up the last piece of quiche (thank you Rosemary for the eggs!) and sat in the comfy chair to finish my book.

My son stopped by on his way home from work. His hands and clothing were still dirty from his day at the farm.  He wanted a recipe for chicken that he remembered eating when he lived at home.

I had my evening good night talk with Steve on the phone and settled in again in front of the fire – one cat on the back of the chair and one in my lap.

Normal – quiet – comfortable.  What a blessing normal can be.

Breathe

This weekend I am hosting a graduation party for my son who will be going off to Colorado in 6 very short weeks.  Here is what I am feeling:

Pride – I love to look at this boy/man and see the courage and determination that he has developed.  I continue to marvel at his strength and to keep my mind open and learn from his enthusiasm, youth and honesty.

Sadness – There has been a lot of leaving in my life in the past year and this will be one more.  It is a sweet one in that it is what we both want but I will miss him in my daily life.

Elation – I haven’t lived alone for over 30 years!

Fear – I haven’t lived alone for over 30 years!

Elation/Fear – This is the unknown.  What will my evenings look like?  Will I be inspired or lonely?  Will I start eating dinner over the sink or serve myself candlelit dinners?  Will the phone ever ring if I’m the only one home?  Will I turn into the crazy cat lady or will I have (as my grandmother used to say) “beaus” lining up at the door?

Peace – This is what I feel when I stop and remember to breathe; remember that I can only live right now, right here.  Remember that I want to enjoy this process and feel each step as I walk along.  The rest will come.

Intention – As I start down this new road, I am setting this intention:  I will pay attention to my life by noticing where I am and what it feels like.  I will move my focus away from tomorrow and away from yesterday to experience today in the most aware way possible.  I will pay attention to my art by respecting its power in my life and keeping it close.  I will practice.  I will practice.  I will practice.

I will breathe.