A few days ago I wrote about changing the name of the room that I work in from “Sewing Room” to Studio”. It took a long time for the name change to stick, mostly because every time I referred to the room, I was in a rush or the middle of a conversation and I reverted back to what I remembered easily and called it once again, the Sewing Room. Everyone knew what I was talking about. To make the change real and permanent, I had to be very deliberate with my words. I had to say “Studio” when I thought “Sewing Room” and I had to do it over and over again until it became habit and the people I was talking to knew what I meant.
The way I refer to my work or myself can carry the same untidy remnants of the past. It’s taken years for me to be able to tell people that I am an artist without cringing inside at the audacity of giving myself that label. Now it comes more easily. I’ve said it over and over again and I no longer have to blush or stumble over the word like it had an embarrassing smell to it. It feels real.
I’m working on my dreams now. I have ideas about things that I want to do that seem out of my reach. I have lots of excuses; not enough money, not enough time, people won’t take me seriously, I have to think of others first; you know the drill here – I’m sure it goes on in all of our heads to some extent. So now – I decided to say some of the things that I was thinking about out loud. I decided to talk about them.
Talking about things as though they are real makes them feel real. It gives substance to the possibilities that might otherwise evaporate inside my brain. It makes me want to do something about them. Yesterday I talked about making my whole house into my studio. It might happen – it might not – but I did go home and start the process of making the house useful for me. Saying it out loud made it important and real.
Yesterday, I sent a proposal to someone I want to work with. The idea has been loitering in my frontal lobe for a few months now but I was ignoring the importance of it and letting everything else cut in line in front of it. Yesterday I realized it was time to ante up and talk out loud and guess what – she said…….yes…….she wants to talk about it – out loud.